Self Discounting - Part 1
The image of ME in MY head eats me alive! HELP!
We are not talking about discounts that arise in the market as sales pitches! Though a steady correlation can be drawn! Did I see you raise an eyebrow?
Human constantly and consistently believes another individual's judgement! It’s a very common phenomenon we come across on a day to day basis! Starting from childhood. Discounting happens when one looks up to another for an opinion, even-though they have one themselves and believes that their opinion or the process in which their brain processes the information is less valuable!
We constantly look for rewards that pay off immediately than wait for the result at the end! Even if it means the immediate reward is of lesser value! Many times it has get described as a behavioral trait than manipulation of the brain! Our brain, not more than the size of your fist, has an immense effect on us! Emotions range and rage our lives every moment! Least does one understand that the brain is just lump of neurons looking for a pattern that later gets used to it and forces you to behave in the manner you are used to!
Why is it so difficult for one to manipulate the thought process instead of allowing our thoughts to manipulate us!
Addict? That would be the word I would use to describe our human brain! Why is it so difficult for one to manipulate the thought process instead of allowing our thoughts to manipulate us!
Walk with me as I travel into time and look through Tara’s life.
Tara was born into a family of 8. Grandparents, Uncle, Aunty, Cousins and her parents! Born and raised as a single child! Pampered and nurtured! She walks into school and like any other 5-year-old looks over her shoulder to see if the mother is still insight. She has been told girls don’t cry. She believes she should not. She has a pleasant day in school! Comes back home with lots to share with her family. Days and years fly by her window. She has never been asked for an opinion nor has she been asked what she feels. Her life’s moments are based on what others decide. Red! She always felt she looked her best in red! Her cousins felt it looked bad on her. Gradually she decided red is not her color. She felt she sang well! Her cousins felt she had hoarse voice and singing was not for her! She stopped singing and instead started to hum. She felt bikes were divine! Girls on bikes! No way! Bikes are meant for the men in the family! Tara lets go of that wish! Such stability in patterns of discounting are viewed as individual differences similar to personality traits and behavioral patterns.
“Ostaszewski, in 1996 quoted that Discounting rates correlate with measures of trait impulsiveness and Rachlin and Raeneri in 1992 quoted discounting is similar to impulsiveness. Some believe people with addictions discount themselves more than other normal people. To start with, given the relationship between discounting, impulsiveness and addiction, I feel it is still unclear.”
Underestimating oneself is the biggest virus which paralyses the Emotion & Cognition and questions our existence!
Discounting has a very close effect that arises due to a lesser working memory. People with a lower working memory capacity might be less able to restrict external information overtaking and overpowering their decision-making pattern. Since they feel They tend to discount themselves or regard themselves more steeply due to their inability to withhold cognitive information. There are multiple levels of discounting.
Here is a typical scenario… We walk into a room, find our family discussing, we try to add into the conversation, we are brushed away! We try again. Someone turns around and says, “You know what! You don’t know what we are discussing about and you do not have the ability nor do you possess the experience to talk on this subject! Why don’t you go to your room!!!” If you are that person who has heard this being thrown your way many times, you immediately curl up into your shell! Tears roll down your cheeks or anger floods your mind! Rage overtakes your senses or depression takes you higher! You walk to the mirror and the reflection we see makes you want to turn away in disgust! Questions start flooding your mind!
The sheer existence – What am I here for?
Significance – Do I mean anything to them?
Personal Abilities – This is not for me! I can’t do this!
Family codependence - Am I capable of keeping my family happy? Am I a good child /spouse / parent?
Professional Capabilities – How am I ever going to finish this project? I better hand it over to someone more capable!
Discounting results in situations that do not have a closure. Situations that take control over you than you taking control of them! When we let options go unnoticed valuing the work of another and not regard ourselves, we fall into the never ending hole of Discounting!
Too much information to process in one read ?
The following articles will showcase the effect that discounting has over Tara’s life as she moves into Adulthood.