“You can do it. You are talented and motivated, and you have it in you to make it happen. Go for it,” is what I say to my friend.
“It's not your cup of tea. Maybe it'd be better if someone else did it. You are not cut out for this,” I say to myself.
Do you see the difference? As human beings, we preach kindness to others but fail to keep the same energy for ourselves. But why? Is it because we are conditioned to do so? Is it because we fail to realize our true potential? Is it because we use “being unkind” to ourselves as a tool of escape from reality?
Whatever it is, every single person, INCLUDING you, or, rather, ESPECIALLY you, deserves to be treated with kindness. And don’t wait for someone else to do that for you. Instead, do what you preach to others. Be kind to yourself.
As a life coach, bringing a shift to people’s thought processes and empowering them to be more kind to themselves is possibly the best part of my job. This blog will explore how you can be kind to yourself without spending a dime.
What Does It Mean to Be Kind to Yourself?
We are our biggest critics, and while it's healthy in some situations, no good comes out when you make it a habit to bring yourself down.
Being kind to yourself means:
- Believing in yourself and talking to yourself in a kind tone
- Prioritizing and treating your pain as you would for others
- Practicing positive self-talk and encouraging oneself for the smallest of achievements
- Setting realistic expectations in a situation
Pessimism or negative self-talk are limiting factors in your success journey. So, practicing kindness toward yourself is a great way to identify your true potential and appreciate it.
How to be Kind to Yourself?
Practicing kindness toward yourself isn’t very difficult. All you need to do is recognize that, like everyone else, you are a human being. You are not perfect, and mistakes, rejection, and failure are part of your life.
Being kind to yourself means overcoming the constant need to berate yourself for things in or out of your control. Sometimes, things don’t work out the way we expect them to, and that’s fine.
Here are some of the best ways to be kind to yourself, and spoiler alert, it doesn’t cost you anything.
1. Take Charge of the Conversations in Your Head
How do you talk to yourself? Are the conversations uplifting, or are they negative? Our inner critic is there to help us make rational decisions, but constant reliance on it can make us solely dependent on it.
Do you have the same inner compassion for yourself as you do for others? What kind of tone does your inner voice use during mental conversations?
Do you stop and identify when you are hard on yourself? When you do, do you take a step back and cross-question why you are exercising such negative self-talk?
Next time your inner monologue starts with “I am so incapable,” “I need to stop doing this,” or “I am not cut out for this,” contradict those thoughts with an encouraging word instead.
2. Be Mindful
Mindfulness allows you to focus on the present, which involves your emotions. If you are drowning in negative emotions, being mindful allows you to be curious about them.
It intrigues a feeling of “why am I feeling like this?” “Is the emotion justified?”. Instead of letting your emotions control you, mindfulness allows you to take charge of your emotions.
This deflects the chances of your mind focusing on what’s wrong and instead improves your problem-solving skills and builds your self-confidence.
3. Take Time Off
To be kind to yourself, you must prioritize health breaks. Sometimes, we are doing so much at one time in life that we forget to prioritize ourselves at that moment.
When you are overwhelmed with work, chasing deadlines, and unable to meet the desired standards, these emotions reflect negative self-talk in your mind.
Instead of pushing yourself to overcome the challenges (like you’d do for someone else), your first thought is to consider yourself incapable and give up on it.
This is the first obstacle you must overcome when practicing kindness toward yourself. And one of the best ways to do that is by taking some time off. Clear your mind, focus on the positive emotions, and recharge yourself during that time.
4. Practice Affirmations
Positive affirmations might seem “trendy” because of their media representation, but they do work. We have been using words of affirmation and encouragement all our lives.
The only catch? We tend to use it to uplift others.
“You are meant for something bigger,” is what you said to the friend who lost their job.
“You are young. You will find love again,” is what you said to the friend who is going through a rough breakup.
But what about you? Do you preach the same for yourself? Nine out of ten times, we don’t.
So, start today because there’s no timeline for being kind to yourself. If you are feeling overwhelmed, tell yourself that it's okay and that you are capable of handling the pressure.
Small words make big impacts on our lives.
5. Learn how to Self-Soothe
Our lives are tumultuous. You can’t expect to be pleasant, welcoming, and happy every day. That’s just too good to be true.
So, while you can get through the good days with no problem, you must learn how to self-soothe when times are rough.
Self-soothing allows you to build a stronger relationship with yourself, build trust, and become independent. It makes you realize that you are self-sufficient and capable enough to heal yourself when things aren’t going as planned.
Final Words
Self-love and self-compassion start with identifying your self-worth. If you don’t identify that you are worthy enough, you won’t be able to exercise kindness toward yourself. So, start small. You don’t have to rush into things. Celebrate your wins, smile more, praise yourself, and remind yourself every night that you matter, you are valued, and your presence makes a difference in this world.
The journey toward kindness and self-compassion is not an easy ride. But a little push is always welcomed, right? Matrrix’s Mindfulness Practitioner Certification can be that for you. Learn the foundation of mindfulness from the best life coach in India at Matrrix and what it takes to become kinder and more compassionate toward yourself.
Until then, if you are still figuring out how to be kind to yourself, a life coaching session can also help. For more details, visit https://www.matrrix.in/contact-us.
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