6523cf573d5f94.26830304.webp "How to manage short temper and stay in control")
“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Now, let’s think of a situation. A customer care executive rings you up for the 5th day in a row, frantically trying to persuade you to take out a personal loan. You can feel the heat rolling inside, and the anger gets the better of you. You yell at the representative while blurting out all sorts of profanity.
Down the line, you might not remember the curse words or what you spurted, but you will certainly endure a deep sense of regret when you realize that the professional was just doing his job.
While you have ordered your pizza, it is served at your table for over 30 minutes, and that too without the much-savoured oregano. As you ask them for a dose of it, they return with a gloomy face, saying they ran out of oregano. You just lose your temper and shriek. Well, it’s justified to feel annoyed at a pizza house for running out of paprika and oregano, but does your yelling at them serve any purpose? In fact, you end up being embarrassed in front of a house full of other customers. The profound pang of repentance that hits you later is inconsolable.
“Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
While your team-mate doesn’t do justice to the work assigned, it's natural for you to feel angry. If you don’t, then he/she will get the better of you and just dodge the work he/she is entitled to do. But to what extent should you be angry when your team-mate comes up with false excuses every now and then just to evade the work?
Like Aristotle said, “Anybody can become angry - that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.”
How to control bad temper
So, while I was coaching/counseling back-to-back sessions on anger management, above are the few experiences they shared with me, confessing how anger knocks them out of their minds, only landing them into severe repentance and emotional instability at a later point.
Does it make you confused? On the one hand, we are saying anger only leads to a lack of mental peace and restlessness; on the other hand, we are emphasizing that anger is important with the right person in the right way.
Well, anger is a human emotion—a natural one. Wrong are the ones who say they never get angry, or you've got to be a saint, detached from any human ties. If you are encircled in a human circle, anger is natural. However, being angry and being short tempered are two different things. People suffering from the latter have a hard time controlling it. These result in frequent outbursts.
How do you differentiate between a short temper and being angry?
Being short tempered, the episodes are unwarranted, as you have a zest for outbursts. They come without warning and leave unpleasant remnants, both physically and psychologically.
You will have the following symptoms when you are short tempered:
- Heart ache
- Restlessness
- Irritability
- Palpitations
- Yelling and screaming
- Breaking things around
- Pumping on wall
- Racing thoughts
- Shortness of breath
- Blurred vision
- High blood pressure
- Frustration
- Over sensitivity
- Shame, regret and more
At times, you might end up crying after having jets of anger let out on someone else. Believe it or not, anger can lead to hypertension, anxiety, panic, and depression. In fact, you might think that being short tempered is related to being sad. Well, releasing anger at someone can make you feel sad. On the other hand, holding on to anger can drain your energy fast, making you cry and making you feel that everything in your life looks bleak.
On the contrary, if you experience anger with the right person for all the right reasons, there is nothing worse about it. In such cases, you experience anger for genuine reasons, which is justified since it is not spur of the moment. A general anger for a cause is not an outburst but rather a slow feeling that also disappears as the situation gets better. In this case, you are usually in control of yourself since you are aware of the feeling and remain in complete control of your senses. Alternatively, by being short tempered, you are totally out of control of your mind.
Ways to manage short temper
So, here are the ways in which you will be able to stay in control if you are short tempered.
Breathe
This is the most essential practice you must do. Just take long inhalations and exhalations. While you do so, you stay aware of the triggers and breathe yourself into a state of calmness. Inhale, hold on to the breath, and exhale!
Count numbers
You might have heard of this practice in multiple arenas of your life. Start counting from 100 in reverse because, as you do so, your mind focuses on the sequence of numbers in reverse, which is not a very usual practice you do every day. If it's counting forward from 0 to 100, it’s a natural one, and your mind does not focus as much as the reverse and will not bring you out of pangs of anger.
Work out
No matter whether you have a short temper or anger issues, working out is certainly important. As you engage in any sort of physical activity, work it off. Either go for a quick run, swim, play sports, dance, take a brisk walk, or do any other exercise that gets your heart pumping.
Slow down on caffeine
Caffeine is a powerful stimulator and can make you edgier if you have a short temper.
Meditation
This will help with a long-term cure if you are wondering how to control your short temper in a more robust and comprehensive way. Mindfulness meditation will give you a holistic way to control your mind every time you suffer from a gush of anger. Believe it or not, a long term cure for a short temper is not easy. It takes a lot of effort and inner work, and once you can do that, you are sorted for your life forever.
Seek help
You need to know when to seek out help from a mental health expert. Only a few people can do anger management holistically on their own. If you are not able to do so, don’t worry. You are not alone on this journey. You just need a little bit of guidance and handholding to be able to fly on your own on this voyage. A life coach will be able to recommend meditation practices and other lifestyle changes to bring you out of an explosive spout of anger.
Talking about the best life coach in India, reach out to Dr Paras.
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